You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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