OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
