So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
