be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize