thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
