so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
i need to put some appletini on your dick
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Randomize
