white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
