THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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