Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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