put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
