ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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