I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
