so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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