I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
