i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
