This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
