I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize