okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
