So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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