So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
