She is in my trunk
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
