I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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