...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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