I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
