her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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