You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
