were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize