white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
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