But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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