are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
