I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
