You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
