Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
