who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
