I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize