so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
