I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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