She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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