I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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