Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
