I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I can text with my tongue
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
