Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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