sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
