he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
