I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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