Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize