so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Randomize
