Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
