I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
