He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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