dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think I won the penis lottery.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
