Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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