When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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