so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
