this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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