Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Floor bacon is actually really good
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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