he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Randomize
