My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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