I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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